im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
