i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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