he thought i was a dude.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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