you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
