Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
