My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize