Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
