And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
