i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
