so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
