**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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