When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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