I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
