yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
