Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
