can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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