He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
50% drunk capacity currently
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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