Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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