I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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