hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
my liver is dry heaving
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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