does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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