I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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