Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
