do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
