Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
