Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
