Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
