Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
