Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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