I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
nutella sex= disaster
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
