So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize