i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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