i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
