I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
