I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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