I want to make a zoo with you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Dear god my vagina.
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