I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
