I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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