I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Fuck me I smell like cheese
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
