We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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