like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize