Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
