i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
