so let's talk penis.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
