I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
