but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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