like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
