I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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