My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
She needs sedatives and a leash
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
