The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize