i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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