I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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