i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize