she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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