A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize