That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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