I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
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but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
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Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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