I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
