my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize