His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
