Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
