The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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