I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
