We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
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I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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