The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
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I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
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I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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