There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Randomize
